My youngest is now 2, so I am welcoming the terrible two's for a second time around with lots of wine and a frown on my face. Here's 12 tips on how to handle them:
1. They come early. Earlier than you ever expect. On the plus side, it does mean that they fizzle before their third birthday. Once the threenager stage hits they can be tough; but the child wants to please their parents. So don't panic, the terrible two's have come early, but they should finish early.
2. They are still your baby. The one you grew inside you and cooed over for the first two years of their life. They just, on occasion, become a snot faced unrecognisable monster. Deep down, though, they are still cute and cuddly. They are just learning who they are and what they want. It is character building, not just for you but for them.
3. Patience comes into its own. Remember when you were heavily pregnant wanting your bundle of joy to imminently arrive? Remember how impatient you were? Well they're here now and testing your patience all over again. Surprisingly though once the terrible 2's have come and gone, your patience will have greatly improved. So, if you have a second child, it should be a breeze when they go through it.
4. Just go with it. Once a tantrum starts, it's easier to let them get on with it. Any attempts to restrain and reduce the fury fit your toddler is going through will just add fuel to their fire. Ride it out.
5. They are indecisive while they are angry. One minute your toddler wants up in your arms to stare at you through their teary angry red face, next they want to go back down to head butt the furniture. I guess that when feelings and growth is concerned it must be very confusing for them. Think, ladies, when Aunt Flow comes to visit, do you ever know what you want? One minute the hubby is a saint for bringing home a big bar of chocolate heaven, the next he is the devil as he should know all you have to do is look at it and you will gain about 10 pounds.
6. Laugh. I never really laughed much when my eldest had his tantrums when he went through the terrible two phase. I used to be far too embarrassed and shocked and was unsure what to do. My youngest's had some amazing tantrums lately and I have to say, watching them is quite funny. It's especially funny when you think about the ridiculous reason they are throwing a tantrum for, (like taking a biro off him after he has written all over the walls). Bless him, the lividness takes over and his brain can't keep up with his tiny body. He flings himself from furniture to floor and back again, while occasionally coming over to bite or hit me (I know, I'm working on this.) Its funny, and a little scary, to watch. So laugh, it will make you feel SO much better.
7. In relation to laughing, take a video or photographic evidence and note down why they decided to unleash the tantrum beast- like not being allowed to eat a slug or snail (both of which my Son has tried.) It makes a great story to tell on Facebook and to friends and it makes it easier and more light hearted for you. Plus, on their 18th birthday, they will have one hell of a card and a video montage to look back on.
8. Pick your battles. This is one tip I constantly tell my husband and I believe it stands for all stages of life, not just when they are going through the terrible two's. If they are truly doing something naughty or dangerous, by all means send them to the naughty step. However, if it is something silly like they want their toy in a certain place or are being fussy then you need to ask yourself is it with the agro or drama? Is it worth the extra tears and strained voice? No? Then let it be.
9. As quick as it begins, the tantrum ends. Just as you think you can't take anymore and wonder if you will ever get those precious five minutes to boil the kettle or if your screaming tot will ever get off of the supermarket floor, it ends. Just like that. Silence.
10. In public it can be even more daunting and scary when your child decides to throw a tantrum, but you just have to stay calm and collected. Remain cool and don't blow your head in public. I know you want the ground to swallow you up, but every kid does it. I bet all the Mum's and Dad's looking at you just want to come over and give you a big cuddle. You'll soon be laughing over this with a glass of wine in your hand.
11. To get them to back down and shut up (quite frankly) try some bribery- some nice chocolate or sweets will do- I know, bad right?! But it can work and make a huge difference in public. The two main things I find key to ending a tantrum is distraction and ignorance. Try to distract your toddler by showing them something else, whether on tv or in public or try to talk to them about something different- like family or their day. If that fails, ignore them. It will soon be over, sometimes your attention fuels them further so work out which is the best tactic and good luck!
12. When it all blows over, put the kettle on and make yourself a nice cuppa. Then, grab your child and give them a huge cuddle; it will make you both feel better.
Rest assured, these tantrums don't last forever. They grow far too quickly so make the most of every phase and try not to wish it away!
Has your child reached the terrible two's? What helps you to cope with it? Pop a comment below, I'd love to hear from you.
For more daily doses of parenting highs and lows, follow me on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.
1. They come early. Earlier than you ever expect. On the plus side, it does mean that they fizzle before their third birthday. Once the threenager stage hits they can be tough; but the child wants to please their parents. So don't panic, the terrible two's have come early, but they should finish early.
2. They are still your baby. The one you grew inside you and cooed over for the first two years of their life. They just, on occasion, become a snot faced unrecognisable monster. Deep down, though, they are still cute and cuddly. They are just learning who they are and what they want. It is character building, not just for you but for them.
3. Patience comes into its own. Remember when you were heavily pregnant wanting your bundle of joy to imminently arrive? Remember how impatient you were? Well they're here now and testing your patience all over again. Surprisingly though once the terrible 2's have come and gone, your patience will have greatly improved. So, if you have a second child, it should be a breeze when they go through it.
4. Just go with it. Once a tantrum starts, it's easier to let them get on with it. Any attempts to restrain and reduce the fury fit your toddler is going through will just add fuel to their fire. Ride it out.
5. They are indecisive while they are angry. One minute your toddler wants up in your arms to stare at you through their teary angry red face, next they want to go back down to head butt the furniture. I guess that when feelings and growth is concerned it must be very confusing for them. Think, ladies, when Aunt Flow comes to visit, do you ever know what you want? One minute the hubby is a saint for bringing home a big bar of chocolate heaven, the next he is the devil as he should know all you have to do is look at it and you will gain about 10 pounds.
6. Laugh. I never really laughed much when my eldest had his tantrums when he went through the terrible two phase. I used to be far too embarrassed and shocked and was unsure what to do. My youngest's had some amazing tantrums lately and I have to say, watching them is quite funny. It's especially funny when you think about the ridiculous reason they are throwing a tantrum for, (like taking a biro off him after he has written all over the walls). Bless him, the lividness takes over and his brain can't keep up with his tiny body. He flings himself from furniture to floor and back again, while occasionally coming over to bite or hit me (I know, I'm working on this.) Its funny, and a little scary, to watch. So laugh, it will make you feel SO much better.
7. In relation to laughing, take a video or photographic evidence and note down why they decided to unleash the tantrum beast- like not being allowed to eat a slug or snail (both of which my Son has tried.) It makes a great story to tell on Facebook and to friends and it makes it easier and more light hearted for you. Plus, on their 18th birthday, they will have one hell of a card and a video montage to look back on.
8. Pick your battles. This is one tip I constantly tell my husband and I believe it stands for all stages of life, not just when they are going through the terrible two's. If they are truly doing something naughty or dangerous, by all means send them to the naughty step. However, if it is something silly like they want their toy in a certain place or are being fussy then you need to ask yourself is it with the agro or drama? Is it worth the extra tears and strained voice? No? Then let it be.
9. As quick as it begins, the tantrum ends. Just as you think you can't take anymore and wonder if you will ever get those precious five minutes to boil the kettle or if your screaming tot will ever get off of the supermarket floor, it ends. Just like that. Silence.
10. In public it can be even more daunting and scary when your child decides to throw a tantrum, but you just have to stay calm and collected. Remain cool and don't blow your head in public. I know you want the ground to swallow you up, but every kid does it. I bet all the Mum's and Dad's looking at you just want to come over and give you a big cuddle. You'll soon be laughing over this with a glass of wine in your hand.
11. To get them to back down and shut up (quite frankly) try some bribery- some nice chocolate or sweets will do- I know, bad right?! But it can work and make a huge difference in public. The two main things I find key to ending a tantrum is distraction and ignorance. Try to distract your toddler by showing them something else, whether on tv or in public or try to talk to them about something different- like family or their day. If that fails, ignore them. It will soon be over, sometimes your attention fuels them further so work out which is the best tactic and good luck!
12. When it all blows over, put the kettle on and make yourself a nice cuppa. Then, grab your child and give them a huge cuddle; it will make you both feel better.
Rest assured, these tantrums don't last forever. They grow far too quickly so make the most of every phase and try not to wish it away!
Has your child reached the terrible two's? What helps you to cope with it? Pop a comment below, I'd love to hear from you.
For more daily doses of parenting highs and lows, follow me on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.
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