Looking at their feet entwined whilst they laid down on the sofa watching a film, I realised how the decision to have a second baby when I did was one of the most important decisions of my life.
There are so many moments where I see the magic of brotherhood, so many moments to acknowledge that the way life panned out was exactly as it was meant to be. Like when I see their gorgeous smiles when they beam at each other after a joke or when their hands grasp hold of each other's as they walk down the road. It's moments like that when I realise how amazing brotherhood is. I can then throw away any thoughts of me being a rubbish Mum; like the guilt of not breastfeeding, or wondering if I should be stricter with their eating or sleeping. I can throw those thoughts away and remember that one of the parenting decisions I have made, I made with such certainty. It has been the best decision I have ever made. It was the right one for both of them. When I announced that I was pregnant with Dylan, I got a few comments, they were hopeful comments that my second would be a girl.The ideals society sets is that the perfect family consists of two children; one of each gender. Don't get me wrong, one day I would love to have my own little girl, doesn't mean it has to be next time though and it doesn't mean that if I didn't have a girl, that if I have two boys, three boys or even four boys that I wouldn't have the perfect family. I already do. I could not have imagined my life any other way now. I could not have imagined having two girls instead, or one of each, because this is what I was blessed with and I love having two gorgeous boys. This is my family.
The magical moments that bond the brothers means that they will be best friends for life. Their age gap means they will fight but they will love and laugh just as much, if not even more.
Some days I sit and ponder. I think of all the things that are dragging me down, worrying me, things I feel I'm not doing right or aren't good enough for my children. Then all it takes for me to snap out of that unhappy place is seeing those two playing a game of "Daddy and Baby" as Zac likes to call it. I love watching their huge smiles and the care they take of each other.
I love seeing Dylan's face light up when he's finally been reunited with his school- going brother each day. It's clear the love between them is huge and unconditional. I even, although I will never admit it at the time, love it when they gang up on me and stick together when they are in trouble and I hope they always do stick together when trouble strikes.
I am so glad and thankful that I had them when I did and I am so glad that they were the boisterous, busy, sometimes funny especially when they laugh at their farts, sometimes gross boys. It's funny how life turns out. The future can be so scary and uncertain but the boys help to remind me of the good in life and the one most amazing decision I made.
What does your family consist of? Do you ever ponder how different life would be if you hadn't have had another baby or even the first? Pop a comment below, I'd love to hear from you.
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What does your family consist of? Do you ever ponder how different life would be if you hadn't have had another baby or even the first? Pop a comment below, I'd love to hear from you.
For more daily doses of parenting highs and lows, follow me on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.